PCU

So the hospitalization continues.  Thankfully, Mommy made it out of ICU.  She is now in PCU, the medical progressive care unit.  She has been in this unit for going on 7 days now. It allows eyes on her regularly and it allows the rapid response team (from ICU) to pop in on her and see how she is doing.  She is still using the bipap at night to be able to breathe more easily.  And during the day, she has the oxygen tube in her nose.  The biggest problem with that it that the machine is so loud that she stays awake at night when wearing it.  Then she needs her rest and sleeps most of the day.  So, it seems that the heart issues are serious enough to need immediate attention.  There should be a procedure done within the next few days to help her blood flow which could help her clear her lungs and get back on track.  So, during this phase, I have learned a few things.  I am the expert on the topic of my Mom.  The people here in the hospital have never seen her before.  They don't know what a good day looks like.  And I have to stand up and speak for her when she cannot speak for herself.  I am very grateful for the people who work with us daily who stay with my Mom each day.  They have been so wonderful at keeping me informed when I was not sitting in the room.  I am also grateful for family who are actively interested in what's going on here in Florida.  And I am grateful for the prayer warriors and those who may be praying for the first time in order to do what they can to help.  I also learned that I can spend hours away from the hospital and feel good about my decision.  I have spent every night sleeping in my own bed.  We only live minutes from the hospital.  So, I stay until about midnight (earlier some nights) and then go home to bed.  That has helped me feel good taking care of my cats, having all of my stuff around me getting ready in the morning.  And I feel better rested with no sounds of beeping, chimes of all kinds, carts rolling or random conversations.  Then I have a better mental status and I have to have that to make decisions that I will be able to live with.   I have also learned what is most important.  I know what is important by what has fallen to the wayside during the last couple of weeks.  Laundry is not that important (yet).  Cooking once a week has worked out really well for me.  I am knocking on wood because I have not been late on any bills.  And I am learning how to work from just about anywhere.  I am practicing being present.  I am only going to commit to being in one place at a time.  It does not do me any good to be at work or at my home and mentally walking the halls of the hospital.  And it doesn't do me any good to be anxious while I am sitting in the hospital room because I feel like I should be somewhere else doing something else.  I take breaks and walk to the lobby.  I go down to the cafeteria.  I don't torture myself staying put if I don't have to.  And food and water are essential to life.  So, I have been packing snacks and eating meals ( at least twice a day).  I had to start somewhere, right?  I have not told a lot of people locally that Mommy is in the hospital.  She is not in the kind of environment where she can receive food or flowers.  And to tell you the truth, visitors take a lot of energy to entertain and Mommy just doesn't have a lot of energy right now.  And I am not a good hostess in this environment.  I feel more like a protective mama bear than the hostess with the mostest.  So, the circle is pretty small right now.  And I am good with this.  More later...  Much love.

It's a good tired

I don't want to let this moment pass without honoring it.  Today is Wednesday and I just got back from a great 4 day vacation on Monday.  I went to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic.  I had a very relaxing time.  I got sun, sleep, massage, drinks and laughs with some wonderful family members that I don't see often enough.  And I returned home to amped up mayhem.  It seems it's time to pump out the septic tank.  But no one here at home thought that I should be alerted or forewarned while enjoying my  4 days away.  I guess that was nice of them to not bother me with the news.  So I came home on high alert.  Tuesday I called about having the work done and was told that it could be done on Wedensday. But until they get here, no running of the dishwasher or clothes washer because that can cause problems that no one wants to clean up.  So for the last two nights I have been taking clothes to a local laundromat to wash them.  Then I bring them home to dry them and put them away.  I had that honor tonight because the company slid me to tomorrow's schedule instead on coming today for the pump out.  This extra task has made for some late nights.

I'm tired.  But it's a good tired.  It think the vacation put me in a mood that makes this ok.  God knows what He's doing even when we don't.  I was also very concerned about paying bills on time with depleted funds.  And in the last 24 hours, I have found 2 accounts that I didn't even know I had!  Once again God knows what He's doing even when we don't.

My Mom has been resting during prime time. She watches TV, gets drowsy and cranks the volume up on the TV because she says she can't hear it.  The reality is that she is asleep!  So cranking up the volume will keep her more alert.  Three times I came in the kitchen door and thought the TV in the family room next door was on only to find that the TV in her room was up to a volume of 40!  Two of these 3 times, she had a CNA sitting right next to her letting this happen like everything was normal.  Ugh!!!  I just go in and turn it back down.  Most times there is a mini lecture that goes with this activity.  "Why does the TV have to be so loud?", I say.  And she replies, "because I can't hear it!"  And we play this game each time.  Then, when I sit down in the room with her, she falls asleep peacefully with the colume at a normal level.  I'm tired.  But it's a good tired.

I'm looking forward to being first on the schedule tomorrow so that this cycle can stop and I can rest once more.  But I do note that every one of my concerns is being handled.  And I don't have to worry.  I can take all of this in stride.  I know who is in control and I have been equipped for what lies ahead in any situation.

I just wanted to share that.

Keep Hope Alive

My Mom had a stroke in 2005 and from that time to the present, she has shared with me that she wants to walk again.  You see, she lost the ability to control her left side in her stroke.  The doctors went as far as to say that she has 'left-side deficit" - she doesn't notice that her left side is there.  over the years, she has made a conscious effort to recognize her left side.  And we do exercises and techniques that make her use her left side in her daily activities.

Her CNA's love her and they have for years.  They see my Mom as a sweet, gentle, funny old lady who needs help with her chocolate addiction.  I know my Mom is all of these things but I also know that she is more.  She is tough.  She is determined.  She is wise, cunning and highly intelligent.  When she worked for the US Government, her bosses boss was the Attorney General of the United States.  You don't just coast by on good looks and a smile at that level of the government.  I knew her when.  So, I can push her and I can motivate her.  And she can do the same for me. Even though most of her attempts to support me seem like sabotages to what I am trying to accomplish (but that's for another blog). 

My Mom gained some skills in rehab after her stroke.  She was able to walk with a hemi walker.  A hemi walker is like a cane but it has 4 legs that fold out on the bottom.  But when she came home from rehab, no one got her out of bed to practice walking with her and she lost the ability.  Her leg atrophied.  Her muscles got tight.  Her left foot won't touch the ground.  Daily stretching can help loosen things up.  But it hasn't brought her back to where she used to be.  And with her CNA's being so in love with her, she gets little to no practice at things that will help make her stronger.  As a group, they think it is easier for her to get dressed laying down.  When she sits up, they whisk her into her wheelchair.  I take a different approach.  I have her sit on the side of the bed to get dressed so that she gets the practice of holding herself up unassisted.  Building up her stamina.  And when we do a transfer from the bed to the chair, we stand, pivot and sit.  If she doesn't help in the process, the process stops and we start over.  Even sitting back in her wheelchair is different.  The girls will lift her from behind, under her arms.  I will stand in front of her and support her back while she pushes herself back in the chair.  We leave one foot rest off of the chair so that she can propel herself through the house.  But the girls will still push her from room to room.  So the cushy life that she leads is taking away her ability to do things for herself.  At this point, she is winded after standing for 10 seconds.  Her brain tells her "You have to sit down!!!".

So, she gets a shot at rehab about once a year.  She sets a goal.  She gets 30 days to try to make progress towards that goal.  And in 30 days if significant gains are not made, her rehab has to end and she can re-apply in 6 months.  It's very disheartening, frustrating and very sad.  It's hard to frame it up for her too so that it doesn't seem like a failure.  This is what it is like when using Medicare benefits for rehabilitation services.

For years, I have been trying to find a physical therapist who would work private.  Or one who would work private and make home visits.  Or a personal trainer who would help at home with strength training.  Because of her cushy life, my Mom really does like getting some good physical activity in.  She enjoys the foot and hand bikes.  She enjoys practicing standing using the kitchen sink.  But she will fight you on a walk around the block.  She will say she wants to go and by the time we are 2 houses away, she's ready to come back.  There's nothing better than a busy day when she can fall asleep by 10pm because she is tired from doing things all day.

So, this past week, we attended a luncheon for stroke survivors and there was a presentation by a company called CORE.  They specialize in helping people get back from paralysis to walking unassisted and other improvements in daily living.  They believe that with lots of practice and cues being sent to the brain from a number of different sources, the body will remember how to function in it's original state.  So, every visit to CORE is work!  Work that leads to a goal.  A goal that is attainable.  And you can work at it as long as it takes. They are private pay at $90 per hour-long session.  Mommy can see the benefits of going.  She has agreed to take a tour.  But she hasn't decided whole-heartedly that she is ready to do it.  Because she can see that it will be work.  But once she sees all of the buff physiologists there, I think she will be on board.  She responds so much better and will try harder if she knows a cute guy is counting on her to succeed. Go figure!

I am so hopeful for her future.  I would love to see her reach her goal.  Most of the time, when there is big change, there is big resistance from some area to try to stop the big blessing from happening.  I am on the lookout.  But this time, she can have her dream.  She will have to work for it.  But it can be hers.  I have had visions already of her standing and taking steps again. This will help all of us who come in contact with her.  It will make some areas of care easier.  It will make her world bigger again with fewer limits.  It may mean that I will have to hide the sugar-free chocolates better in the house too.  And she will be a walking testimony to encourage so many.

I look forward to sharing her journey with you.

Are things falling to pieces? Or are the pieces falling into place?

I was urged to think about this when a friend of mine posted a saying to the effect of sometimes when it looks like things are falling to pieces, it's really the pieces falling into place.  When I find myself in the position where things are falling to pieces I am usually such a wreck that I can't remember the situation.  It is difficult, distressing, shocking to me that I am not in control and cannot stop the avalanche or tidal wave I see approaching that covers everything in it's wake.  But I do have one instance that was a little frightening but not so scarring that I have blocked it from my memory.  So, I will share in this blog.

I am a bowler.  I have been competing since I was a kid.  My Dad was a youth bowling coach for over 50 years and coached both me and my 2 brothers for our entire lives.  I compete annually in the Women's National Championship tournament as an amateur.  So, in 2015, I was scheduled to bowl in my 20th Nationals tournament on Reno, NV in June. My entry was confirmed and paid for by February of that year.  I had a team with 4 spots on it for bowlers.  Sometimes it is a little challenging to get 3 other people to share in your vision and form a team.  People have a hard time with getting the time off of work or away from home.  They have challenges paying for the flight and hotel.  They have challenges paying for the tournament entry.  So, when you lock in your team, you have already done a fair bit of work.  For this tournament, I was only able to fill my roster with 3 bowlers.  I got a half of a commitment from a 4th person.  But when it came time to pay for things and buy a plane ticket, the truth came out and she was unable to travel with us.  So, it's not so bad to have one opening on the team.  There's a substitution bulletin board at the tournament site for this kind of dilemma.  It wouldn't be the first time that I had been on a team that had to grab a sub at the tournament.  And we were bowling in the event about halfway through the full window of the competition.  The tournament ran for months and ended in July.  We were bowling at the beginning of June.  So, there should be subs available. So, then, we were 3.  So, as we were booking flights, the 3rd bowler looked at the days that we were flying and realized that she was scheduled to bowl a different tournament, in a different city in Nevada over the same dates.  There was no replacing her either.  So, we had gotten one sub before at a tournament.  How hard could it be to get two subs for the team event?  All we can do is try.

The two of us remaining on the team secured our room and our flights.  I was travelling with the best doubles partner and travelling companion in the whole world.  We have travelled together for just about a decade.  So, we have a great time. We share common interests like casinos, cocktails and good food, fine Vegas entertainment and relaxing at the spa.  We have never had a bad trip.  We always find the fun no matter what we are doing.  Flight delays don't steal our joy.  Lost luggage doesn't phase us.  We always have a great time in every situation.  Because of this, we always plan a trip to Reno paired with a trip to Vegas.  Hey!  We made it all the way out there!  We might as well make the most of it!  So, 2 days in Reno and 3 days in Vegas and our trip itinerary was complete.

 

 So, both me and my bowling bestie have responsibilities to our Moms.  They help us out and we take care of them when they need it.  Jodi's Mom helps her with her kids tremendously and Jodi stays on top of what her Mom's medical needs are.   During this particular year, Jodi's Mom had been having a variety of problems with her knees, her heart, her gall bladder and general feelings on lethargy. Oh, and blood clots!  She had been in and out of the hospital during the year.  But she was at a good point as we were planning to leave for our trip.  But as fate would have it, she went into the hospital 2 weeks before our trip for a one week stay.  We were still hoping that she would have her strength back and be able to hold things down at the house while we were gone.  She reassured Jodi that she was fine and that she should go to the tournament with no worries.  But you know how you get the feeling that someone is putting on a front?  That their words and actions don't exactly match up?  That's the impression that Jodi got.  And the night before the flight, she told me that she was going to have to stay home just to be sure everything was OK with her Mom.  Of course, I was disappointed in my own selfish way.  But I did understand and hoped that everything would work out.  That in the morning,  her Mom would spring out of bed, tell Jodi she felt like a million bucks and that she should hurry and catch her flight!  Nope.  Not so much.  I flew out to Reno for my 20th tournament all alone.  No cheering section.  No back up.  No support.  No team.

This was completely new for me.  Every one of the other 19 years, I had travelled with a team to go to Nationals.  (except that one year where I worked all the way up to the day before the event and had to fly in on the morning that we bowled team).

I got to Reno and checked in at my hotel.  I got something to eat and then went to the National Bowling Stadium to see if I could find a team to bowl with.  There was a team from New Jersey that needed one bowler.  So, I called them and they offered me their open spot.  Whew!  I was going to compete for the 20th consecutive tournament!!  They bowled at the times that I was scheduled to bowl originally too.  So, my squad times were the same. The tournament office removed my team entry for the tournament and moved it to 2016.  So, my spot for the following year was secured.  That was a bonus!  The 2016 tournament was going to be in Las Vegas and would most likely be a sell out because of the change in venue to one of the best cities on the planet.  That night, I played Blackjack (as usual), won money (as usual), and went to bed (not as usual).  Usually on my first night, I would play until the sun came up and take my bankroll back to the room to use for the rest of my trip or I would play until I gave back all of the money the nice dealers had pushed to my side of the table.

The next day was the late afternoon squad of the team event.  I lounged during the day.  Ate a big midday meal at Hash House A-Go-Go and washed it down with a Bloody Mary – the BLT one. Yummy!  I made my way next door to the bowling stadium and met up with my team.  Really nice ladies!  They gave me a shirt to wear- just for the event.  There’s an award if your team dresses the same at Nationals.  My partner Cheryl was a very cool person to meet.  We had great conversations.  We took our team picture before the squad started, entered the brackets and sat down for the pre-game meeting where the tournament officials greet you, tell you where all of the participants on your squad are from and the give out PARTCIPATION AWARDS.  First timers to the tournament get a warm welcome.  But if you have been in 20 or more consecutive tournaments, you get a pin, patch or plaque.  This was my year to get a pin.

I was so happy that I had actually made it to 20 consecutive tournaments.  There were lots of obstacles along the way (finances, accommodations, time off from work, finding a team), but I made it!  And I bowled pretty well on the first day.  When I sub with a team, I would feel like a failure if I did not bowl my average for the 3 games.  The team had spent the day golfing and they were spent.  I did better than average.  On the second day for doubles and singles, I really did well with a 602 as my high series in singles and a 1675 for all-events for the weekend.  I had my highest finish ever in the tournament.  3^rd place in my division in singles and 5^th in all-events.  I truly felt like things were completely falling apart as I made this trip into the unknown in a familiar setting.  The experience caused me to stretch and grow and reach new heights.

For the 2016 tournament,   we are in Las Vegas to compete and to play – all with one plane ride this year.  We leave in the morning and there are only 2 of us.  But we know we will find a few subs and have another one of the best trips that we have ever had! I have a good feeling about this year. I will let you know how we do.



Caring for Family Caregivers

The company is born!  I am a successful business owner! (I will call it into being)  Caring for Family Caregivers is here to help other family caregivers know that they are not alone.  They have others that they can get information from and rely on.  And if they need individual help, I can take them on as a client and develop a personal care plan that they can follow to get control of their personal caregiving situation.

I am starting off small but I think that is probably for the best since I am the only employee.  But I believe I have everything I need to get this going.  I have mad a number of contacts.  And there tons more that I need to meet in order to bring the best information to the people who need it.  There are way too many of us for us to be in the dark and searching for answers to questions.  People just need to be linked in order to find the answers that already exist.  You don't have to re-invent the wheel and start from scratch for each and every thing that you do for the person that you are caring for.  90 million caregivers in the United States and most of them feel insolated and alone in their caregiving.  This has got to change.  And it can change right here.  Right now.

And can I take two seconds to say RESPITE.  Small intervals of doing what you like to do for yourself and nobody else does wonders for your mental and physical state of being. You cannot give what you don't have.  So, you have to re-charge.  You are important.  You do make a difference.  Many people don't know where they would be and what they would do without you.  So cherish yourself as much as others cherish you and honor your feelings and needs.  RESPITE is not a nice-to-have.  It's a gotta-have!  So, plan it or steal it or run out and get some!  I want to build some respite activities into the Caring for Family Caregivers package.  I am big into coupons and gift certificates for restaurants and local activities.  So, I want to have some of those to give to people so that they get some respite.  I am also a big sports fan.  So, I want to be able to give away tickets to a game every once in a while too.  It makes such a big difference when you can go cheer for a team and blow off some steam.  We are going to make this thing happen!  And our loved ones will be better for it.

Taking off the Training Wheels

I am so excited that my first wine event is happening tomorrow.  This idea was hatched from my brain about 5 years ago.  It was originally going to be part of a "Mommy and Me" get together where we kids would bring our Moms together for a little social gathering.  While the Moms were together talking about what Moms talk about, we kids would be out on the back porch sampling wines and spilling our guts.  There would be a handout to take home in the form of a card with a tip on it.  These cards would go in a box so that you would always have them when you needed them.  Because we are all about adding more to your toolbox.  So, from that idea comes tomorrow night's incarnation actually out at a local establishment.  It's going to be so cool!  I just can't wait!  I think getting out and meeting other caregivers really helps you to feel better about the job that you chose to do caring for someone in the first place. And it's really nice to get different perspectives on your current situation.  Sometimes people share insights that you may not have noticed.

So for the next 18 hours, I'm living for 5pm!!

All Good

It's really nice to see that I am not the only one who cares.  I decided this year that I would stop fighting harder for people than they were willing to fight for themselves.  The morning after the crazy breadstick incident, my Mom decided when she heard that her waking blood sugar was in the high 200's that she would take it easy on the carbs and increase her fluid intake to help herself get her blood sugar back to a more healthy range.  I didn't have to say a word the whole day.  And I didn't.  I was just so happy that she realized that she had temporarily lost her damn mind.  The night before, she made everyone feel like we were being unfair to her when in reality, she was a breadstick eating fiend (temporarily).  I'm pretty proud of her for taking control of her own situation and owning her situation.  With that attitude, she will have a number of good years ahead.

Pushed to the Limits

My oh my!  Pushing the boundaries is a pastime for my Mom!  This week, she had lots of opportunities as she turned 80 on Tuesday, July 14th.  She had company in from home and she wanted to make the most of their time together.  On the first full day they had together, my Mom got up at 8am and stayed up and moving until 10pm with no nap or trip to relax in bed.  She took the week as the ultimate in eating everything bad and in excess.  Breakfast on her birthday was Corned Beef hash, grits, eggs and a biscuit.  All good for her birthday.  No problem there.  And no lunch because she was full until dinner.  Dinner was a loaded plate at a teppanyaki cook-at-the-table restaurant.  Leftovers were enough for dinner for the next 2 nights.   I have been trying to give her enough insulin for all of the dastardly things she will take part in.  But after she makes up her evil plans, she changes them in the middle of the frenzy.  Case in point - Olive Garden dinner.  Understood there would be breadsticks in the plan of attack.  A cocktail was also in the mix.  Dinner and dessert were chosen.  All good.  We did not order appetizers in order for dinner to arrive in a timely fashion.  Then, we could time the insulin shot to best match up with when the food was coming. First the drinks come.  A few sips and it's time for the insulin.  Many more units than she would typically need because of the hefty meal to come. Breadsticks arrive.  She has one with Alfredo dipping sauce.  Yummy.  Then another. - Danger Zone.  And before she can finish, she's asking for a third one!  I let her know we didn't come to the restaurant for a breadstick dinner.  We came for a complete meal.  #3 was split in half.  Then, the entrée - Chicken Parm and a side of spaghetti arrive.  She eats half of it in order to save room for the raspberry cheesecake that she planned on for her dessert.  Well, at breadstick 2.5, I think the insulin coverage attempt was foiled.  So, she was stuffy with a runny nose by the time she finished with the meal.  When she got her long-acting insulin, we pushed that up too in order to help the situation.  The next morning her waking blood sugar was 210.  FAIL!!!!

So she has a sensible breakfast and before her plate is cleared from the table she says, "There's Oreos in that cabinet over there."  As if!!!  What's the point in making it to your 80th birthday if you are going to kill yourself by the end of the first week as an 80 year old!  I can't wait for her sugar to get back in alignment so that she can think more clearly.  I know everyone deserves to live a little.  But if she did this all of the time, she would have a very short life left.  I love it when people say to me, "she's old - giver her what she wants".  She won't get much older with that mentality.  She is in very good health and I want to keep it that way.  She is not denied anything.  She is denied the kind of excess that she won't be able to recover from.  But she's making it hard on a sista'!

Momentum

The articles of incorporation came in last Monday and I have been setting up a few appointments to go along with my upcoming days off from the job that pays me a weekly check.  So, tomorrow I have 2 meetings.  One to pick the brain of an Executive Director of a non-profit and the other to start on my business plan.  Next, going to meet with some folks who are willing to be front line volunteers.  Then, off to pick the brain of another ED.  I am picking up speed.  I do need to keep it real and acknowledge that big highs can have potentially as big of a low.  I can't let those get me.  I need to keep making progress.  There's no room for "I can't do this."  I just have to stay on my game.  And make room for Mommy wherever and whenever I can.

Moving Forward

Wow!  I am really bad about keeping this blog updated!  Happy 2014!  Lots of movement on the Caregiver front.  Mommy and I are still chugging along.  I went to a class on how to start a non-profit and how to apply for 501 (C)3 tax status from the IRS.  So, let the games begin!!  I am getting my human resources lined up to begin on this journey and then I will worry about the financial resources to make it happen.  It's amazing how I thought I was starting small and just taking care of Orange County - maybe the Tri-County area.  But Brevard County has also shown interest in this project.  So, having the name of Caregiver Resource Center of Florida, Incorporated was not a bad choice!!  Much, much more to come!!

Update

Wow!  I can't believe it's been so long since I used my Blogspot!  So many things have manifested in my life. There have been great losses and great gains.  Long and short of it - husband is gone (truly for the best).  I lost my oldest brother in 2009 and my Dad in 2011.  I lost 30 pounds between 2010 and today (7 more to go to reach my WW goal).  I still have my Mom with me.  And over the last 3 years, I have gained a ton of confidence, reassurance and happiness in me and with me.  My finances have made it to a place where I am almost debt free. My brand new car is paid for.  My time share is paid off.  All of my credit card debt is gone. And I just started doubling the house payments every month in order to pay off the house within the next 7 years.  GOD IS GOOD!!!!  HE IS GREAT!!  HE IS MINE!!

I got myself together enough to start a Caring for the Caregiver group at my company and we did one year of meetings.  And when it seemed that I was the only one working toward programs for the group, I had to put it down for a while. The last meeting was November of last year.  If there was some interest or demand from the members for more activities, I would continue. But I think the next manifestation of the organization will be out in the community.  It means more work, but very well worth helping others.

Other than that, there are the everyday struggles that are a part of life (as a Christian). What you want right now.  What you feel you deserve.  What you know you should be waiting for. And the preparation that you should be undergoing while you wait for what you want so that you are ready for it when it gets to you.  You know, the hard stuff.  The patient, obedient and faithful stuff.   The try and try and try again stuff.  A friend of mine told me that sometimes she feels like she parties and repents and parties and repents - constantly!  I'm not on that track (all the time).  But I can relate to what she was saying.  I am making changes for different outcomes. Watch me now!

Mommy & Me

I am a 41 year old married woman who is now living in a multi-generational household. My husband is 51 and my Mother is 73. She lives with me because in 2005 she had a stroke that rendered her paralyzed on her left side. She has full use of her brain and voice. So, we get along just swimmingly. My husband was really great in being supportive of me doing whatever was needed to take care of my Mommy.

My family is from Washington, DC and I live in Florida. So, there was a lot of commuting right after her stroke. My older brother (who was a nurse) and his wife (who is a nurse) moved back home to take care of Mommy for the first year after her stroke. I came home once a month to see how things were going because I was the one in charge of the finances and consultant on medical decisions. After a year and a half, my brother and his wife decided to go back to their lives. They told me that they could take Mommy with them. But, I thought it would be better if she was with me for a while. Medically and physically, it has been very good for her here in Florida. And we spend a lot of time each day laughing. She is a lot more engaged and she's a lot more mobile. We go out 2 or 3 time each week.

I work Mon - Fri and sometimes on weekends. So, taking trips out with Mommy is fun but takes some effort. My husband has retired from his first career and tries to live the life of leisure but at 51, he still works. He is a Chef. (yes, big ego and all) He does a fantastic job of cooking whatever Mommy wants for each and every meal. She calls him her "Genie" basically, because one day she saw him wrapped in a towel after a shower with his bald head gleaming in the lights of her bedroom doorway. But I think it's more because her wish is his command when it comes to mealtime. Whatever she asks for, he will make for her. It's a beautiful thing to watch.

As I continue to blog, I will have many questions for those of you who are in my situation. I have made quite a number of changes to my everyday life. None of which I regret. I love my Mom and my husband and I am very happy and settled with the decisions I have made in my life. But there are some very trying times too. And that's where I'm looking for input. More to come.