PCU

So the hospitalization continues.  Thankfully, Mommy made it out of ICU.  She is now in PCU, the medical progressive care unit.  She has been in this unit for going on 7 days now. It allows eyes on her regularly and it allows the rapid response team (from ICU) to pop in on her and see how she is doing.  She is still using the bipap at night to be able to breathe more easily.  And during the day, she has the oxygen tube in her nose.  The biggest problem with that it that the machine is so loud that she stays awake at night when wearing it.  Then she needs her rest and sleeps most of the day.  So, it seems that the heart issues are serious enough to need immediate attention.  There should be a procedure done within the next few days to help her blood flow which could help her clear her lungs and get back on track.  So, during this phase, I have learned a few things.  I am the expert on the topic of my Mom.  The people here in the hospital have never seen her before.  They don't know what a good day looks like.  And I have to stand up and speak for her when she cannot speak for herself.  I am very grateful for the people who work with us daily who stay with my Mom each day.  They have been so wonderful at keeping me informed when I was not sitting in the room.  I am also grateful for family who are actively interested in what's going on here in Florida.  And I am grateful for the prayer warriors and those who may be praying for the first time in order to do what they can to help.  I also learned that I can spend hours away from the hospital and feel good about my decision.  I have spent every night sleeping in my own bed.  We only live minutes from the hospital.  So, I stay until about midnight (earlier some nights) and then go home to bed.  That has helped me feel good taking care of my cats, having all of my stuff around me getting ready in the morning.  And I feel better rested with no sounds of beeping, chimes of all kinds, carts rolling or random conversations.  Then I have a better mental status and I have to have that to make decisions that I will be able to live with.   I have also learned what is most important.  I know what is important by what has fallen to the wayside during the last couple of weeks.  Laundry is not that important (yet).  Cooking once a week has worked out really well for me.  I am knocking on wood because I have not been late on any bills.  And I am learning how to work from just about anywhere.  I am practicing being present.  I am only going to commit to being in one place at a time.  It does not do me any good to be at work or at my home and mentally walking the halls of the hospital.  And it doesn't do me any good to be anxious while I am sitting in the hospital room because I feel like I should be somewhere else doing something else.  I take breaks and walk to the lobby.  I go down to the cafeteria.  I don't torture myself staying put if I don't have to.  And food and water are essential to life.  So, I have been packing snacks and eating meals ( at least twice a day).  I had to start somewhere, right?  I have not told a lot of people locally that Mommy is in the hospital.  She is not in the kind of environment where she can receive food or flowers.  And to tell you the truth, visitors take a lot of energy to entertain and Mommy just doesn't have a lot of energy right now.  And I am not a good hostess in this environment.  I feel more like a protective mama bear than the hostess with the mostest.  So, the circle is pretty small right now.  And I am good with this.  More later...  Much love.