I See You

My Mom is currently in the hospital.  She has pneumonia, congestive heart failure, aortic stenosis (narrowing of the aortic valve),  and lots of fluid in her lungs in addition to the pneumonia.  She is in the ICU and has been there for 3 days so far.  It is a long road to get rid of this nastiness.  And it seems I am way more patient than the patient.  She didn't even think she needed to go to the ER much less be admitted into the hospital or go to ICU.  So, needless to say, she is ready to go home every minute of every day.  Currently, she needs support to get deep breaths.  So, she is using a mask similar to a CPAP but the machine is bigger. It's called a Bi PAP.  The best thing for her is rest.  She needs to stay calm to heal.  But she is anxious when she is awake.  This is a very tough time for her and for me watching this unfold.  I know she can kick this even though there are a lot of things that are not in her favor at the moment.  As the infection goes away, I know she will get stronger.  It's hard to see her so uncomfortable.  It's hard giving updates to family and friends daily.  It's hard making a schedule that works.  It's hard knowing what the priority should be.  It's hard knowing where I should focus my attention.  It's hard to focus period.  My hours awake are really starting to outweigh my sleeping hours (not that they were ever really balanced.)  Sleep and prayer are the two most important factors for me and for Mommy.  As I am writing this at nearly 1AM, I am going to sleep now and start fresh tomorrow with prayer for the best direction.  More later...